The MilSpouse Oral Histories Project

My name is Margaret Reaske Robitaille.  I am an only child, and my maiden name ends with me.  Through my grandparents, I can trace a long and storied American past: from Ethan Allan and his Green Mountain Boys, through Lafayette Baker and the investigation into Abraham Lincoln’s assassination, and – family rumor has it – some mid 20^thcentury inmates of my current home, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas.  I am the first in my family to earn a varsity letter in sports or arts (tennis and music).  I earned three degrees with honors – a double bachelors in history and political science, a Master of Education, and a Master of Arts – wrote two history theses and compiled a masters portfolio.  I’ve worked in seven different states as a lifeguard, a teacher, a title researcher, and a barista; I also worked as a yoga model for a short time, and created a yoga program for soldiers, veterans, and their families at Fort Wainwright in Fairbanks, Alaska.  I’ve trained for triathlons, and participated in numerous road races, including two marathons.  I’ve birthed three children and experienced two miscarriages; I coordinate school support, therapies, meetings, and medical records for two of our neurodivergent children.  I volunteer for Project Gutenberg, and work in cultural history research, with a focus on New England supernatural folklore and its fictive behavioral indorsement in the 18^th and 19^th centuries.  I’m 36, and a Scorpio.

            All this is more than enough to write a story of my own life, but I don’t.  My days are filled instead with the stories of other people: my husband and how I can support his Army career on this day and every other; my children and how I can support their schooling and extracurriculars and medical needs; and constant thoughts of where we’ve been as a military family, where we’ll go next, and how that might affect the million and three things that comprise a smoothly functioning and deeply connected family.  Some days, I feel accomplished, connected to the world, and a valuable part of our microcosmic clockwork.  Other days, I can’t seem to find 8 minutes to take a shower, finding myself buried under last-minute demands, or experiencing a sudden, shocking bereavement that leaves me feeling bereft and helpless to make anyone else’s life better.

Your story is important, and it deserves to be told-by you.

-MRR

            It’s hard to tell if all of this is normal, in a military life or any other.  It can be easy to feel otherized as a military spouse: rarely in one’s home environment, rarely in one place long enough to make it feel like one’s home environment, constantly challenged to make new friends and keep track of a peer group who might be able to say, “I get that.  I go through it, too.”  It can be hard to keep in contact with those with whom one does connect: life happens, and that special military life makes sure it happens all at once, with the regular rotation of moves, new schools, and new routines often compacted into a matter of weeks.  These events can create distance between friends, not to mention conflict within families that often takes a considerable amount of emotional resilience.

            This, too, is my experience.  It’s also part of why I created the MilSpouse Oral Histories Project, an oral history initiative designed to preserve firsthand accounts of modern military spouses and their challenges, celebrations, and backgrounds.  We all need connection; we all need grounding; we all need to see ourselves in the community in which we are asked to thrive.  We all deserve to belong, and to feel important and part of something larger than ourselves, particularly when we sacrifice so much of ourselves for duty to our country and our servicemembers.  If you are a military spouse, past or present, please consider donating your story to the MOHP.  While you are dedicating your time to helping America’s military continue its story, take time to write your own.  Your story is important, and it deserves to be told – by you.

The website for the project is : https://milspouseoralhistoriesproject.org